Are you from Oklahoma?
Cuz you okay, Homa.
Because I'm sick and wanted to go to bed
Sydney: i was trying to think of a cold-related pun to send you off with but i don't have any
Me: wow Sydney
Me: that's cold
Me: We should post this on the internet
Me: it'd go viral
Sydney: STOP
Me: but these puns are so wicked sick!
Sydney: post this on tumblr right now
Me: What I get noticed by a hacker?
Me: No worries, if I tell the police he'll get cough.
Sydney: you're spiraling
My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh my god
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
katniss: hey, peeta.
peeta: yeah?
katniss: where's finnick?
peeta: i don't know
katniss: ODAIR HE IS
friendlyneighborhooddeliveryman:
I hold you in high esteem if you get this joke.
I understand this reference
Oh! Bird puns!
Alright, alright, going with the crow theme — did you know, the only real difference between crows and ravens is that crows have five pinion feathers, and that ravens only have four.
So the difference between a crow and a raven? Well, that’s a matter of…..
….a pinion.
